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Change in the air -July 2020

Here we are in July 2020 and we are on the July where we in the middle of summer Vibes!

Let me first say this month alone in the last ten days have been different for me ; Full of emotions, highs and lows. And I have been have reflections on my own beliefs, my thoughts and a reason for it all where we all in life. I have keeping myself away from my phone, the media outlets, talking less. I know those first few lines are hard to read and understand even for me. I spent the last ten days figuring out what to say, how to say it and when to post , when to share because the change in the air has me at a lost for words.I know has a writer is just write and it will make sense in the end. By that being said, I hope this makes as I continue to type words, sentences and maybe paragraphs even I don't know but I am sharing what's in my heart.



I am writing this six days after July fourth and the previous Paragraph I wrote last month and yet it still feel right to start this month's blog post like this.

I think this month the feeling of the world in a weird state, hit home for me at least and yet there was good things that happen during the last time I posted and some other sad things in between. I miss the hugs, the smiles and the many coffee dates I had in my calendar. I look back on this July fourth as a weird one without all the festivals through the weekend but more blessed that I had my Father around, my momma and my stepbrother in one place and we got the time to be together. Because previous fourths we would never together, cooking, laughing during those years. Some this year was quite special to me.

Also this month I lost another furry friend of mine, I used to babysit and take care of a sweet doggy next door to me. He was sixteen years old and I knew him for eleven years of his life! He was a sweet boy and few times he went on his walk bouts from his home, he would always come to my front door. His name was Scooter, I called him Scoot. He was my Favorite model, He knew how to work the runway in his own way.



A very special person to me and in my community,passed away suddenly. Her name was Jennifer, she was loved my many and she touched many. I only knew her for a short time but it felt like I knew her forever. I knew her through the Rotary club and she was friends with both of my neighbors as well.She was a strong woman and always had a giving heart. She had a smile that you knew it came from her heart because her eyes would light up as well.She little spot outdoor venue spot in the heart of town where people would get married, have birthdays at with the most beautiful Lavender garden. I was blessed for the amount of time I knew her and witnessing all her kindness to others. Our Community has been hit hard in recent months with losing people suddenly and unexpected. To suicides that should have never happened and families hurting. And losing a friend my age with a full life ahead of her being stabbed in her car and she took off to the hospital and while getting there someone ran a red light that killed her. Her name was Angelina she was beautiful and she was kind to me and everyone around her. She would be missed dearly by everyone who knew her.

Life is an unpredictable sometimes and sometimes it challenges us during the worst of times and yet during the best of times to. Looking at the whole of the world right now during through every angle. I think sometimes is life real right now or fantasy. I know one day, we will get back to normalcy, we will understand each other better and we will learn the lessons we need to know through this time period of history.

I have my own ups and downs in the last six months that I can't believe where I am right now with it all. I wasn't feeling myself since my birthday of this year, I was told my body is fighting something and yet there was no reasoning behind it all just a guessing game. Each day wasn't the greatest, there were lost of sleepless nights and tears. Breathing was hard sometimes, I had to stop working out , I lost ten pounds within weeks, I couldn't eat food that I would normally eat. I went to many doctors, did many tests and scans. And let me tell you I had so much gel on me that I think I could make another me with it all combined. Fyi when they say it will wash off easily don't take their word for it I had gel in my hair (three washes later , by the way). I few reactions to medications that made me feel even worse than I was feeling already. I had a few panic attacks during a few scans that I had to be confined like an the MRI but that was actually the easier one and the during the EEG; which was the worst for me.

Conclusion to this all, I have lumps in my breasts that are hormonal related that might not ever go away and yet they are painful. They found tiny cysts in my throat and one my thyroid gland but nothing is life threatening. The popping in my ears and my sinus acting up because I have an allergy syndrome thing that might or might not with me forever, I have to wait it out. My first time in my life experiencing allergies. My organs look good, my heart is in good shape. They found a tiny tiny little cyst on my pineal gland in my head which is very common in woman and very very very tiny like lots of....

I can say from six months go to till today , I actually feel better slowly, being more active again. In all of all I am happy about it and I am getting close to getting closer to feeling normal. To all my friends thinking I was being a more of a hermit than normal that's why before the world was shut down. And I am blessed to have the family I got that made me keep pushing through it and help me to the many lovely doctors appointments even if they had it seat in the parking lot of hours. I love you.

There were some good things that happened, I had the chance to collaborate with a company the last few months. The company name is Neveo, If you follow me on instagram; you will see the collaborations through my story.I love this company and the app was so easy to use. I love there concept of helping generations of families connect without social media. Just by uploading pictures in the app each month and simply adding a caption. And they take care of the layout and send it the person that journal is for. I am smiling about talking to them because right now in life connection is important. If you would like to try them out for a few months , I highly recommend you do! I got a code for you "FAMILY" for three months for half off! Think about it something tangible to give to someone you love.

I will working on some edits that I have been meaning to finish and open the store on here that I put on hold since everything that happened. And I have writing a different style of writing than I used to , something fresh and I have been releasing a few pieces on another platform to see if anyone loves it anonymously before I share it here. I have been thinking about a few pieces that I have been circling around in my head the last few weeks. You never know a new written piece might just pop up here, subscribe if you haven't yet to get the lastest first. I feel more ready than ever to be the creative as I was months ago. So prepared once everything is ready, all my social feeds will be full.

I want to leave you on this note. Take a pause on life, ignore what chaos is around you right now. Close your eyes, breath in for a moment and take a breath out. Look at what's in front of you and where you want to. Who you want to me and if you need to make a change in your life. Make something right about your past, do it. You are loved, you wanted , you have gift even if you haven't discovered it yet. Make the most of the next months leading to 2021, spend the time with love ones, spend time working on you. And most of all things will work out , things will be normal; I am sure of it. Believe in it all and see what happens next.

That's my catch up.

With love always,

Misread

 

Feeling lost without Mocha



It's been a few days since my Little mocha has been gone. I catch myself looking for her in the places where she used sleep in her days. That alone sounds weird in itself. I am writing this in my favorite chair that she took over because of the blanket. I have sat here and thought about her, her life and standout moments that I will always remember. I can say I don't I will ever own other kitty after her because she was special one and I can't see myself letting another kitty in my bed. Like what my best friend said the other day when she heard about Mocha, " Mastermind mocha ". And she definitely lived up to that name to her very last moments.



I have been sitting here with my phone in my hand the last two hours trying to figure out what to say. So I am going to say lots of things that might not exactly make sense altogether. I  made the decision unwilling to let Mocha go. She lived almost Sixteen years exactly,  born April 3rd, 2004 and her final day was April 15,2020. On her last day, she let me put her in her carrier with no problem for the first time in her life but we both cried all the way to town and I had my right hand petting her through the carrier as I drove the slowest I could. Let me quickly  say before I  forget I like to thank  Jonathan from Tehachapi valley vet hospital that help me ,help her after waiting in the full parking lot of pet owners. And I like to think it was her last and final sign to me because I  was thinking about a person with the same name that day before I made that decision sitting in that full parking lot. And he told me she was the sweetest kitty when he took her back and she's not one to like strangers at all which also shocked me to and didn't fight when she heard the razor which also shocked me . When it came to her final moment, I held her in my arms tight in my car and she was looking up at the sky , she was gone in thirty seconds. I knew I had the right call even if it killed me and doing it alone. And he took off her collar when I couldn't do it myself, holding her in my arms in their kitty blanket. I was a complete mess after that, I asked if he could cut a piece of her fur so I could take it home with me. When he took her away from me for the final time, I sat in my passenger seat crying my eyes out for I don't know how long. And when I could move, I stood up on the payment, leaned on to the car door until I could breathe and take a step through what seem a rainstorm of unless tears and I couldn't believe she was gone and she wasn't coming home with me either. And when I stop at a red light and no one was around, I looked into that passenger seat hoping she would just reappear and meow at me.

Coming home after everything else I had that day, I looked around my space and saw her everywhere and every moment we had together as I cleaned up my room.

Mocha was my longest relationship ever and it will be one I hold tight to by heart always. Over the last few days,I  have been looking for her in her favorite spots without even thinking or knowing I am doing it until a few moments later. I listen to my morning alarm and wait, wait for her to jump on my chest until I get out of bed but nothing happens. She would want me up so she could lay in my body heat before I made the bed after my cup of coffee. She lived well, she survived lots of things like being caught twice by two German shepherds,(King ) and (Gracie) side note the only reason they let her go because she peed on them in their mouth. She survived a week out in wilderness without getting attacked by anything when I first moved to the countryside . She found three rattlesnakes outside my bedroom window to warn me through out the summers she lived by the window seals . She's been my heated blanket before there were heated blanket made and then I had to convince her to let me have some of the heated blanket throughout the years.



Mocha was my favorite study partner when I went to school; she would seat on my back, my butt and head when I would lay on the floor for hours to distract me from my tasks.  She once brought a headless bird to me in the house and to this very day ,no sign of head in sight... Let all hope she left it outside. My mocha has been through everything with me since the age of ten, through heartbreaks, broken bones, surgeries and the occasional sneak out also the numerous colds. I also remember the time she took out the little christmas tree set we had with her whole body trying to get the dangling ornaments. What I miss the most is hearing her little paws running up and down the hallway tile in the midnight hour because she's fully wake from her full day of naps. I  miss seeing her little paw under the bathroom doors, telling me to let her in or she will open it and let me tell you she opened the door every single time regardless if I was in the bathtub or not. Today I  made my bed with new sheets and it took me just ten minutes to make it but I missed the moment where she would roll all over the bed with the new warm sheets and not let me make it until I caught her first probably in her mind it was my cardio for disturbing here from her nap.

I feel out of place without her and I will probably be for a very long time with her being gone. Reflecting over the last few days and reflecting all of our years together. I can say through all her masterminding moments that we both really understood each other fully and she was my other half but in kitty form. I miss those head nudges for cuddles and kisses the most all. My Favorite little Mocha in the world.

 

Happy Little Easter


Happy Easter to you all! I hope today, you are all enjoy this Sunday with those you have around and doing the family traditions that you would normally do if we weren't all quarantined as much as possible.

Today is also known as the Resurrection of Jesus Sunday then just Easter Sunday with all the sweet treats. I hope you all say a little prayer to start the day, I will be ; for all of us to get through these hard times and be able to hug, kiss our love ones sooner than later.

I thought I would share what some of my usual Easter Sunday traditions are. There isn't a long list of them, I will just share my favorites. And a few we do as a family even tho we are all adults now. We start the morning with a light breakfast of yummy things including hard boiled eggs. Start the meal by playing a game, that I have played since I was a kid called the" The Egg game" to me.You pick up a hard boiled egg out of the basket and either cup it in your palm horizontally to be the person that will get hit on the receiving end of the other persons egg or grab it with your fingers to be the one who will hit the receiving egg. Whoevers egg is left Un-cracked is the winner of each game. I tend to come in last place but throughout the years I have won a few times here and there. If you play this Egg game with your family around the table,it tends to get a little competitive, I am warning you now but it's still in good fun.

A little while after breakfast we start to cook a few yummy side dishes to have later for dinner that take a bit longer to prepare. One is usually a yummy egg salad using fresh boiled eggs and other top secret ingredients that no one knows what they are still to this day.And warm cheese egg rolls made out egg roll wrappers and three different kind of cheeses, which is very favorite little snack item any time of the year. And a assortment of pastry cookies , made by my sweet grandmother. In-between making the yummy food that turn into the best leftovers for the week, we color the leftover hard boiled eggs. Every year there tend to tie dyed ones and of course the tradition tan colored eyes as well (which I recommend to used in the game , I mentioned before.) Just don't tell anyone that I told you so.



A little while after breakfast we start to cook a few yummy side dishes to have later for dinner. One is usually a yummy egg salad. And warm cheese egg rolls made out egg roll wrappers and has three different kind of cheeses, which is very favorite little snack item. And a assortment of pastry cookies , handmade by my sweet grandmother and we all devour with a cup of tea . In-between making the yummy food that turn into the best leftovers for the rest of the week, we color the leftover hard boiled eggs from that morning and that also turns into another round of eggs. Every year there tend to be tie dyed ones and of course the tradition tan colored eyes as well (which I recommend to used in the egg game ,I mentioned before.) We take walks around the lakes and walk the trails of the fresh wildflowers that have just blossomed, which is favorite part of the day besides eating the yummy things. I tend to be the gigging one in the fields of flowers for no reason other than enjoying what was created long before I ever existed. If it's never been obvious before my camera is always attached to me on those walks in the middle of nowhere waiting for the unexpected moment to be captured. And yet I realised I am not a little kid anymore but seeing those blossoms make me feel that I am still each year and full of cheer on this particular day.

I hope you take this Sunday for yourself and your family. Enjoy that fresh cup of juice or hot cup of coffee, watch the blue-jays and cardinals flying around in the morning sky Enjoy church virtually, get all dressed and enjoy it outside if the weather you let's you. Facetime, call your love ones and see if they are doing well, tell them you can't wait to Hug them soon. Create a yummy brunch spread that looks absolutely amazing. Play the silly games and color eggs, hide the eggs around the house , make the best of this Sunday by being relaxed and blessed for where we are right now. We don't have to be in a rush for anything or buying the next big thing in the world.

To just BE in the moment for the time being, Enjoy every spare second of it.


See you on the Next post! We shall see what I post next because it will be a surprise to me too!

Be Safe and keep things light.

Love you, Misread.



 

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