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August the closing of summer 2020

I started to write this months post at another doctor appointment in the waiting room for the hundredth time this year and honestly I lost count on the number of times I have been waiting rooms this year alone. But I didn't want to start like that for this month and to share that but hey it's life.

We are officially near the ending of the year and August is here, shortly the fall season will come and go before we know it, christmas will be. But I hope these next few months till the new year are full of blessings for all us. Even tho this the closing of our summer days of 2020 are ending. I hope they Slow down, full of memories and fun regardless if we have wear a mask wherever we go. Let's take these days to be the ones soaked up by happiness and supporting each other even if the act is simply asking, " How are you doing?". Do more facetimes, Do more voice texts and be there because the seasons are changing, restrictions change, life routines can change all over again.


Go watch the lingering sunsets each evening, grab your favorite drink and watch the beauty of God and the universe has created for us to enjoy. In times like these we should appreciate them more than we did previously. I find myself racing each evening to finish everything I have on my plate of lists to watch the color show even if that's a few seconds before it's dusk. I find myself back under the stars like I used to such a long time go right before bedtime. Better than any show I can find on any device right now. I can even tell you last night when the world around was asleep, light's off across the valley that I looked up to those same stars that lingering each night for about thirty minutes doing absolutely nothing besides being. I found myself at peace, reaching my hands up the stars like I did like a child once upon a time ago and attempt to catch one in my palm if I could. There were so many in the sky last night that it took my breath away and it felt like dream, no sounds of anything besides the light midnight breeze moving a chime. So if you haven't done that in a while I think you should just to unwind from the world right now, the best medicine I could find. And honestly I think the stars are the absolutely gorgeous thing about life and no matter where you are in the world, they are always there with you the darkness they are share their light when we can't see seem to share ours on some days.

With that all being said I have being feeling Creative like a burst of energy came into my soul and I think it's time to share a few written pieces that I have tucked the back of things left unfinished to share with the world. I feel alive again like the wind changing directions, seasons changing in a blink of an eye. I feel like me almost to a thousand percent. I find myself drifting the world of writing in my head, faster than any pen on paper or typing on any keyboard. If I am watering the herbs, taking care the zoo or doing work I find myself dabbing little sticky notes and hiding them away in a notebook. Just saying that made me a smile a little , typing all this and hoping this makes sense to at least someone out there.

I found myself grabbing for my camera again which I haven't done either in months, I am getting inspired more when I see something that caught my eye. To the point I have ran through my house to grab my camera before I missed the opportunity when I only have seconds left. Just imagine three german shepherds very concerned for me that they are on my heels because I am just flying through doors like nothing. I can promise you when I can run back outside with a camera or two that we all forget the breaks going down the deck steps. At least I can say I got my cardio in each time that happened. And I missed that part getting excited and laughing over a moment like that when I know it doesn't make sense unless you are there witness the same thing. When was the last time you went chasing something that made you inspired that you need to capture it ?

I guess my point of this snippet of a monthly post is that enjoy moments of life right now, stop and watch what's exactly in front of you. And what has inspired you recently that made you feel giggy , that made you smile so much that your face hurt? Put down your phone more often, turn off the tv, the computer and watch the beauty around us that we often miss when we are busy with life. Just being is more important, press pause go in solitude in nature. Before we know it , rain will come around, the colder temperatures will come upon us and the snow will be covering the world around us. And remember your safety is important, wear the mask when you should and check on your loved ones. Just don't forget to just be in this timeframe and what beauty lies around us.


In closing I just want to leave you with this: You are loved, you are worthy of everything and someone is always in your corner to catch you if you were fall. And Being is Okay to be right now, you don't have do anything else besides that .

Anyways,

Love Misread.💕

P.s I will try to be on time for the next monthly post and keep a lookout for anything new to pop up shortly.

 

Father's Day June 2020


Happy Father's day to every father out there!






Today's the day I gush about my father a little and maybe give him a little hard time about those funny moments we shared throughout the years; that he will also moments he will never live down either. Let me first say , Dad you are my best friend and I love you no matter how difficult you have become in your old age.

Now let me continue chatting about you a little more. I have many many memories with you, some very funny for my benefit and some very sweet memories as well.

My favorite one still to date is that first trip to San Francisco, you know that moment well. It was my first time experiencing the city you grew up in after coming to USA at the age of twelve . I only experienced the city at age twenty - four because I promised if I ever went to the city by the bay , that my first visit would be with you. Back to that special memory where there was so much laughter that ,I lost my own breath and I wouldn't even move much after that. Remember on our last day out in the city, we visited the Sutro Baths?

Where we walked the trail down from the parking lot top side of the lot because you were the tour guide of this trip , I let you lead the way. And it was cold that morning if memory serves me correctly to , you just had a cup of coffee. You said and I quote ," Let's go this way , it will be the shorter way and easier to come back". To find out later we took the long way down but we did get some amazing pictures of the point and finding a heart shape rock in the bay. Then we arrived to the bottom of the baths after an hour and half later I believe, you took me into the cave tunnel after that. I remember having my own skin crawl out of my own body due to not liking narrow places. But you got me there and we I did get some amazing pictures from underneath. And I remember you holding my hand all the way to the tunnel cave until we got wet then you moved out of there faster than I could catch up fast enough either. I remember you saying , " No sense of both of us getting wet ". I said back, " Hey I thought we are a team here. " You said ," Yes, but I can't swim". At least I can say when doubt there is humor in the works, always with you. We wondered around a little more after that, watching people taking picture, birds playing in the baths and watching the waves crash against the hill side. It was a gorgeous day to watch nature work while we took in the moment being together.

The best part of that whole three hour experience leaving the baths. Yes, I know I can hear you saying it already, "Here it comes". I have never laughed harder then ever that day and probably never will never laugh that hard again. Walking up those big wooden stairs to the parking lot which let me reiterate again," This is the Easy part". We were the only ones probably taking thirty minutes to a climb that hill side. We only walked up ten steps with me a step behind you when you said," How many steps are there? Who put these here, I want there name ? And why isn't there an elevator here? " All I could response with laughter and tears forming at my eyes " This was your idea to goes this way . You said you are the expert here." And then you were hold on fence post like you ran a marathon in ten minutes before the steps part happened. People pass us by going either direction, you made it clear who ever was going down the steps while bring out of breath yourself, " You don't want go down there." They would responded with " why sir?" each time. Then you would responded back with ," Because there are no baths down there and these stairs are a b.... to climb".

After reaching the top of the stair case with me holding you up the best I could while making sure the cameras weren't going to fall of my shoulders, that the staircase it's self had at least fifty- three steps because you made sure to count each step. When you reached the top of stairs and had Rocky Balboa moment and reach your arms in the air while saying , " I made it at last, Thank you Jesus and where's the car". Then the famous words came next, " Don't you ever bring me here again , I not walking down the steps or up these steps again. Too many stairs, I need ice cream, where's the car. Oh those tourists don't know what's about to happen to them when they go down and come back, it's not good".

I was almost near the ground at that point because you were saying all of this without missing a breath and yet walking like you did a major work or had a few drinks in the last few moments before walking up those steps. And we all know you don't do that. I had to say, "He's fine, he's just getting a little old for his age". When I said that someone meaning you were walking fast to the car to show me who's the slow one is".

One of the best moments and day of my life and yes I still have the video. And no I won't delete it either, good memories fills the soul up and maybe it will end up on YouTube one day soon.

You are my best friend, partner and crime and yes, you are the best dad a daughter could ask for ! Don't let that all go to your head that I said the best. I love you very much no matter how many days you drive me crazy, I wouldn't trade you for anything.. Maybe just one little thing. I look forward to each day with you , every memory shared and more laughs to come. At least I didn't share the time you got stuck in the lake in Bishop, yet.. Maybe next year I will. I love you more than you ever know and that's a fact.


I am a lucky daughter to grow up with my dad and have a great step-dad as well in life. And I think about my step-dad Danny often because I know around this time each year my little sisters don't get spend the day with him or see him. And his birthday just passed a few days ago as well. But I know he is looking down at us each and everyday, protecting us. My favorite memory with him would be the time when I was a little and I just woke up from sleeping in my big girl bed for the first time as they called them back then. I walked down the hallway to the kitchen to see making pancakes because he promised when he got home , we would have pancakes. And the time we ate peanuts together while putting together a giant Winnie the pooh puzzle together.

And to all my uncles, brothers and cousins in my life you are all great dad's and will be great dad's in the future. I love watching you all with your kids and the bond you have with one of them , very beautiful in my opinion.

I know this year some are experiencing their first year without their dad, brother and grandfather. I wish I could ease the pain the reminder that they are gone. But remember they are gone physically but spiritually they are around always, looking out for you , watching you create memories. They are in the wind, they are the clouds , they are showing you signs they are around as well. I know they are happy to know you, watch you grow up and had the physical time they had with you , teaching you all what they were taught from their father's to pass on the knowledge on to you. If I could loan out my father to you, I would in a heartbeat as but I know it's not the same. And I know, you would return to sender as well.. he can be a handful and he knows it.



Edited statement from my father: " There were more than fifty-three steps , try five hundred and fifty-three steps ".

 

Feeling lost without Mocha



It's been a few days since my Little mocha has been gone. I catch myself looking for her in the places where she used sleep in her days. That alone sounds weird in itself. I am writing this in my favorite chair that she took over because of the blanket. I have sat here and thought about her, her life and standout moments that I will always remember. I can say I don't I will ever own other kitty after her because she was special one and I can't see myself letting another kitty in my bed. Like what my best friend said the other day when she heard about Mocha, " Mastermind mocha ". And she definitely lived up to that name to her very last moments.



I have been sitting here with my phone in my hand the last two hours trying to figure out what to say. So I am going to say lots of things that might not exactly make sense altogether. I  made the decision unwilling to let Mocha go. She lived almost Sixteen years exactly,  born April 3rd, 2004 and her final day was April 15,2020. On her last day, she let me put her in her carrier with no problem for the first time in her life but we both cried all the way to town and I had my right hand petting her through the carrier as I drove the slowest I could. Let me quickly  say before I  forget I like to thank  Jonathan from Tehachapi valley vet hospital that help me ,help her after waiting in the full parking lot of pet owners. And I like to think it was her last and final sign to me because I  was thinking about a person with the same name that day before I made that decision sitting in that full parking lot. And he told me she was the sweetest kitty when he took her back and she's not one to like strangers at all which also shocked me to and didn't fight when she heard the razor which also shocked me . When it came to her final moment, I held her in my arms tight in my car and she was looking up at the sky , she was gone in thirty seconds. I knew I had the right call even if it killed me and doing it alone. And he took off her collar when I couldn't do it myself, holding her in my arms in their kitty blanket. I was a complete mess after that, I asked if he could cut a piece of her fur so I could take it home with me. When he took her away from me for the final time, I sat in my passenger seat crying my eyes out for I don't know how long. And when I could move, I stood up on the payment, leaned on to the car door until I could breathe and take a step through what seem a rainstorm of unless tears and I couldn't believe she was gone and she wasn't coming home with me either. And when I stop at a red light and no one was around, I looked into that passenger seat hoping she would just reappear and meow at me.

Coming home after everything else I had that day, I looked around my space and saw her everywhere and every moment we had together as I cleaned up my room.

Mocha was my longest relationship ever and it will be one I hold tight to by heart always. Over the last few days,I  have been looking for her in her favorite spots without even thinking or knowing I am doing it until a few moments later. I listen to my morning alarm and wait, wait for her to jump on my chest until I get out of bed but nothing happens. She would want me up so she could lay in my body heat before I made the bed after my cup of coffee. She lived well, she survived lots of things like being caught twice by two German shepherds,(King ) and (Gracie) side note the only reason they let her go because she peed on them in their mouth. She survived a week out in wilderness without getting attacked by anything when I first moved to the countryside . She found three rattlesnakes outside my bedroom window to warn me through out the summers she lived by the window seals . She's been my heated blanket before there were heated blanket made and then I had to convince her to let me have some of the heated blanket throughout the years.



Mocha was my favorite study partner when I went to school; she would seat on my back, my butt and head when I would lay on the floor for hours to distract me from my tasks.  She once brought a headless bird to me in the house and to this very day ,no sign of head in sight... Let all hope she left it outside. My mocha has been through everything with me since the age of ten, through heartbreaks, broken bones, surgeries and the occasional sneak out also the numerous colds. I also remember the time she took out the little christmas tree set we had with her whole body trying to get the dangling ornaments. What I miss the most is hearing her little paws running up and down the hallway tile in the midnight hour because she's fully wake from her full day of naps. I  miss seeing her little paw under the bathroom doors, telling me to let her in or she will open it and let me tell you she opened the door every single time regardless if I was in the bathtub or not. Today I  made my bed with new sheets and it took me just ten minutes to make it but I missed the moment where she would roll all over the bed with the new warm sheets and not let me make it until I caught her first probably in her mind it was my cardio for disturbing here from her nap.

I feel out of place without her and I will probably be for a very long time with her being gone. Reflecting over the last few days and reflecting all of our years together. I can say through all her masterminding moments that we both really understood each other fully and she was my other half but in kitty form. I miss those head nudges for cuddles and kisses the most all. My Favorite little Mocha in the world.

 

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