2025 year of Me

Hi world , I must of written this maybe a thousand times in my head over that last three weeks. Where the words land by the end who knows but they will be honest. Saying goodbye to the year that I had was easiest thing to do, for 2024 going through it was a story in its self. And I could write that story but I'm not going to. I can say 2024,I have cried nearly once a week for the whole year that was an experience of 52 weeks. I can also say this year broke me many times in many places but also made me the strongest version by the end of it at the same time. Because I can break a million times over but I can also heal million times over. I noticed by the end of this year a couple of people asked me the same question, " How does one get through the broken ?" and they would ask me without knowing what I was going through that moment. My answer was and still is," Don't be afraid of the breaking whenever you can. Allow yourself to break over and over till your soul ready to heal". There's beauty in breaking and the beauty of healing at the same time. x

At the same time I'm kind of saying a little Hello to 2025 even through I don't know what's in store for this year either. Good or bad it's a new year, new set of everything including life.

Now I got that little part out the way there has been the happiest moments of my year that no one knows about either. The little moments I captured all by myself, no witness, no posting it anywhere. They were just for me. The girl singing on the top of lungs with only audience was the wind and possible any on lookers when I realized I'm at a stop of red lights then I suddenly act like nothing happened . The girl just choose to date her self for the year even on the days she didn't want to, she treated herself for five minutes or a hour .The girl who tries to be herself even if she shouldn't. The girl who would get dressed up and go no where to be and yet perfectly content in company of a Penna vodka for one and three wild Shepard's running in all directions. You probably would notice I been saying girl not woman. (Insert the Britney Spears's song in here ).. If you get the reference you get the reference. Look up the crossroads movie that's the version playing in my head. Because sometimes healing a girls heart makes a strong woman at the end of the day even of it takes time even if it takes longer than one wishes. I like to think I'm a stronger woman through all the things that's not mentioned and things that are small to others but are massive to me. I always been the type the smallest things matter as much as the biggest things in life.

I been thinking about my word for year and I landed on it's a bit odd word of choice. I thought about it for a while, the word is Selfish. Now, now don't take it as a negative choice of word even if by definition it is. I think of it as being selfish with life a little but in good way. Selfish to enjoy life. Selfish in being myself even if way I talk is a long winded story. My closest friends can contest to my long winded story's or statements , I love words. Selfish in every single away that's is good, to be free being selfish. I think that is as honest I can get about it. Or the word could always backfired in the end but this life. What if this where all leads and goes. I think that statement is a perfect beginning and ending when one doesn't know the answer to something beautiful to the question mark about life. Right?

The funny part is I'm kind of looking forward to being that way even if it's once in a lifetime to be, if its for three months,; six months or the whole 365 days or just a few moments even. Or who knows becoming the word will change the whole direction for my life, my world. I may be a little to excited about this word . I think it will be a fitting word to describe the year and one never knows what could happen the year. I think we can all agree with that statement by each New Years Eve. The unexpected I have learned can always lead to good things even through chaos, through sadness; the unexpected can lead to laughter and one wild story in the end it's how you look at. When was the last time you decided to be selfish for a minute or done the unexpected just for the thrill and nothing else. And on one knew about it besides your own little secret with universe.

Now in retro perspective I wrote the beginning of this post on new year eve with a glass of baileys to close out year watching the ball drop and obviously one I didn't post it or even finish it even through in my pretty mind I thought I did. I did enjoy that glass in bed and fell asleep with phone in hand with the open draft, you see as a published post before you.

I will share what my first day into 2025 was unexpected shocker of events on day one! I'm still laughing about it and to be completely honest sometimes you got say out loud, "I guess this how it was suppose to anyway". In the next post maybe that's where I begin.

I wrote this on the last night of 2024 to the fresh morning of 2025 and clearly I have this thing where in my first post of the year now comes out in spring each year. I promise that is never my intention to always post it that late ( these last few years) but hey at least its written and posted, it exists . I guess life always come first in a way and also I tend to sit with things no matter what it is but especially when it comes to this. This little thing is always me for me. One single place in the universe where it feels right and that's all I will say.

And Happy new year to you all!

Just from little old me.

P.s I been writing other posts, more is coming very soon.