A whole lotta love for February

There's a whole a lot love all round given and received this month . Love is love in all forms some times it comes swiftly and other times it comes out of left field. My kind of love usually comes out of left field which always leads to an interesting chapter in my storybook of love. For this month of love, it has treated me with surprises, unexpected news that still shock me. And at this moment it all still seems like deep dream that hasn't ended yet nor does it feel real. I will get into the big news and the all the shock in a bit. Before I forget Happy belated Galentines ladies, Happy valentine's to everyone one else. I hope each one of you had a good day with your partner, your lover or just by yourself. And to point out Valentine's day doesn't mean you have share love just in one day. Love should be 365 days either for self love care or with someone. Valentine's is all about Love in general just not coupled up. So I hope everyone celebrated the all kinds of love in your life. You deserve all the love in the world.

I am writing this months a day late past the deadline what I had planned with a Pistachio latte in front me and mother nature stirring up a bit of snow flurries in the countryside of California. Like I said I have so much to say and a little story to share and this month's blog post will look a bit different then normal. Also I keep promising new work , new stories and more for quite some time now. You might need to wait just a tad longer for all that but in all good timing it will come your way, I promise. I have been a little busy, I traveled to Vegas for bit and the city was kind to me, left with a little more then I went there with. Wink, wink. But also I found a hidden Gem of a coffee shop there as well, a placed called Jack Pots. And let me tell you, it's worth every penny in the rainbow. I got a different kind of macchiato than I usually have and I can still taste the yummy drink in my coffee soul. I only wished I brought some coffee back with me , so if you go for a visit; get yourself those coffee beans. I did get to see many rainbows in-between the fountains which if you are in-between there right before the golden hour glow, You wouldn't be disappointed with the view at the Bellagio. And of course the yummy food, I love the lux café for breakfast and for a linder but to be completely honest I love it any time of the day. My favorite is the breakfast buffet and happy hour, if you love good food ,for a great price and the Portions are just amazing . Another good spot is snacks in the Bellagio which is fast quick food which didn't disappoint one bit, I highly recommend trying the zucchini pizza and the garlic knots. I wanted a whole pizza of it to myself then just one slice. But enough of the yummy food that's making me hungry all over again. I also took a quick trip by the beach just to relax for a couple of days and who would have those few days would also change my little world without even knowing it ..

So let me get into all the excitement and the big news! But first I need to explain the background behind everything for a minute or two. So on the last day of January was the last day to enter in the local photo contest and I found out about the show that Friday before. Which left me two days to print my top contenders in my mind to enter and plus matting them. I spent hours, changing photos out of my top four and changing mats, changing titles. I kept feeling these were ," These are my best photos, I can think of; but I could do better ", they fit the categories that I chose to be apart of and bit out my normal work or comfort zone. I chose the following categories Landscape/ Nature, Animals and Travel/ Architecture. But here's the thing the day I had turn them in was just a bad day in general, things weren't going in my favor from the beginning to end of the day. Then when I went to turn them into my own turn them , I went Walgreens to pick up my additional prints for the next show first because I had time before the galley closed on the way. Well the girl in that department didn't want print them even through I had the confirmation they were ready to pick up so that was a bit frustrating which I thought , "Okay, I will just swing back tomorrow" and got back in the car. Then headed over to the gallery and driving past to the parking lot it didn't look the odds were in my favor; the gallery lights were off. I checked the door it locked and my heart just sunk to my stomach, I was just upset. Then I saw the tiny little sign that said winter hours and they closed at four. I was there at four o five clock, it was fitting for the rough day. Then I went back the car with my momma and checked my phone for their hours on goggle, it said they closed at five PM. I was completely heartbroken at that point. I put the car back into drive went down a little bit of way from the galley and said out loud, " I just wanted a sign that I was putting my heart into the right path." I think we all have those moments of doubt inside about something we are chasing. She looked at me and said, " Well it may not have to end like this, maybe give the gallery a call in the morning since they just changed their hours and the paperwork and on google says the closing is five PM. And so the Saga continues to that Tuesday morning at exactly at Ten AM I gave them a ring when they just opened. And the kind person on the other side of the phone completely understood my story and my heartbreak over the situation and said If I came by soon, that I would be accepted into the show. That in itself made me happy with that particular outcome . Driving back to the gallery and become very last submissions in show felt right in the sense, I can't tell why did but I felt like I could breathe. After the stressful week I spent a day on the beach to just be. That morning of the show I wasn't even thinking about the show. I was fading away in a novel in world war two and eating waffles on the sand. And at the same time guarding my waffles from a very tiny lifeguard that had wings. He wouldn't even let another bird come by either ,he would chase them off then return to his post. Laying on the beach for hours just letting the world go by, listening to the waves ; it was a perfect day. By the time I traveled back to my little town, it had become late and my cozy bed sounded better then trying to make it before it ended. I thought honestly that there's no way that I place or won because I was the last submissions. And no one contacted me if I did. Then a few days later, that Monday morning rolled around; I was craving pancakes and I was curious what were all the submissions. I headed to town and ate at one of the local cafes and ordered mixed berry pancakes which were divine. After that I headed back the gallery with my dad and we walked back in the room together. My eyes were looking for the ocean waves photo I entered called Black Diamonds in the sand. I couldn't even tell you why my eyes and my heart were searching of that particular photo. I guess it was out curiosity how it showcased in the show overall. As I was searching for that one, I was completely besides my self when I didn't recognized my own work when my dad said, " Look who won first place with that elk picture." I turned my head in his direction and my jaw dropped , I was stunned , I couldn't believe what I was seeing with my own eyes. I had to go over and double check the name next picture because it felt like an untouchable dream in my head. If my dad wasn't there with me , I would have still thought it was a dream. And he did in fact took pictures of me being shocked , so I knew it was real. That photo is probably one of my favorite photos of an Elk. The stud just jumped in front of my lens that moment and he was just modeling for me. And the title of that one is called , Modeling Sound. But it didn't stop there. We went to look for the other three , I entered in . And to both of our amazement we walked right pasted two that I entered in travel and architecture when we walked in. I won second and third in that category alone . I had to take a moment back again, I couldn't believe it .The second place was a picture of a statue outside the gates of Hearst Castle. The head of the statue of a women with two heads. Which I tilted a Her vision is her Reflection. What placed third was a photo of an dock unfinished near Pier 39 in San Francisco with a war ship in the background, which I tilted escape to the 1600s. It fell like a moment out of a sherlock homes novel in my opinion and why I took that picture in the first place. I never entered into the this category before in any show so I was bit outside my comfort zone. And to see that I placed second and third, I still can't make words about it. I tried to be quiet in my amazement of shock in a very quiet galley. I may or may not of danced out my feelings in the moment; I hope no one was looking back on those security cameras at the certain moment in time. And my face was hidden under a mask but I was beaming with happiness as I walked out of the gallery that Monday morning

To the end this story of being blessed, an amazing beginning to February 2022. I got my answer that I put out to the universe, to God. And that answer was Yes in three fold. And honestly I sat with my own high about for a few days, I didn't tell anyone about it . I was happy with knowing, all the hard work, the days up the show were rough but so rewarding now. I never thought in a millions of moments that I would ever win and the few days of second guessing myself but also sticking with my original thoughts; of what work to share and would also be kind of work outside my safe zone. And outside my realm of work that I normally never share, would turn out being my most successful work so far. And to my Dad that posted all the news before I could even process to Facebook and too the many groups chats; Thank you. But next time let me be the first to share the news!

This month has been filled with so much good things, for example I made one of the local Buzz news because of that modeling Elk . And Also won another award of him to through social media this week! So I have been beyond blessed this year and I can hope for more to come. I can't wait see what happens next. I have been stepping out of comfort zone a lot lately, so we will all see what comes.

And I will be uploading another book review from my latest read about The Stolen Lady, by Laura Morelli. That novel was an interesting little read about the possibilities of the Mona Lisa being stolen and the hidden story behind her original story before She become the most famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci. If you haven't read my other book reviews in the previous post, I hope that you do give it a little read. There's a book for everyone in those reviews and it's linked down below. More things are coming your way and Personmisread is blossoming in the most beautiful way. And I thank you for all your time to those who have read my stories, the book reviews and follow my photographs throughout the years. Thank you will never be enough but close to it.

Love always,

Personmisread

Catching Autumn in November 2021

The autumn season is coming to a close in it's final month before winter season begins. I don't know what November has in store for us but I am sure it will be filled with things we need in our lives.

Before getting this month's monthly post , I was a bit absent last month. The Reason being there was a lot happening personally and professorially and time got away from me. As you might of seen my written piece about my Nene went up before this one. I was in my head the last month, I spend nights and many moments just lost in another world of my own thoughts. I had so much I want to say ,to express about her and then the anniversary of her passing came before I knew it . It was like my heart knew it and felt like I was reliving those nights of last year all over again. But by saying that I got through it and wrote about living without her presence. I felt that was the best way I could say what I was feeling and maybe I didn't tap into everything I felt in those words but my only hope is that I did her justice. Also I have the piece linked down below if you haven't read it yet. I hope you did read it and you do if you haven't.

Back to this month post, Can you believe we are already in November ! It feels like we are still in September in my opinion or maybe I am just in that blur of the season changing and daylight savings time happened. I can't believe we are even closer to the holiday season either, I mean what happened to the year? Who else is with me on that ? And just a secret between you and I ...I am not ready for turkey season or Christmas yet. And it just occurred to me that they are so close, it could be due to last year and it still feels like last year in way. I am not ready for those extra calories and to burn them off before Christmas. But I think once we are in the between the holidays with hot coco and family around it will feel more real to this year, like the warm hug we all have missed last year.

I will be releasing two book reviews this month from October reads. I am excited to share these two novels both polar opposites of each other in story lines but both of them are fictional novels. The first one is called The Book of Candlelight by Ellery Adams and the other is called 365 days by Blanka Lipinska. Both novels are both equally thrilling in there own way and I highly recommend both of them to anyone that needs a good book to escape to. So keep your eyes out for that spicy reviews coming your way very soon ! I finished them both fairly quickly back to back and I am currently reading a witch novel the prequel to practical magic. I thought it would be fitting for the spoke season and let me say so far it's a beautiful novel so far but I don't exactly to finish it to quickly just yet. I feel like this particular deserves a slow burn. And I am through with the novel in fact, maybe in fact you will get three book reviews in one. Lucky you guys! Just don't ask me how many books I haven't read in my library still. Let's agree I have a little problem of picking up books when I am out and about just like picking up a snack for the road on a trip.

On the writing front, I know you are all keen for more pieces. I would say, I know I keep repeating myself on this but more is coming. I have sticky notes of notes about things to write about. And unfinished stories that need to be finished.. to be honest they have been sitting in a few notebooks of stories that hold lots of raw feelings. Those pieces are the type of stories that meant to be release when they are meant to be read. Like I have always said before I believe my written pieces are meant to be shared when I get that feeling that someone out in this world needs to hear them, at least one person to know they are understood. To add a little tease factor I have had this little Christmas story on my heart to share for quite some time meaning a few years now. Maybe this year I will share it as my closer to the year, I have been tossing it around my thoughts lately since we are near the snowy season.

To end of this little very late monthly post because someone meaning me forgot to finish this on time again, I will be better next month! I promise ! I hope this month treats you right, the weather is enjoyable where you are located. I hope your family is happy, healthy and near to you all as well. I hope you are being successful in the path you are on currently. And like I said previously I will be adding so much to misread over the next few days, weeks. The book reviews will be posted most likely in one or two posts. So keep your eyes out for those! I will try not post everything close together that way you guys can enjoy them. A little secrets between you and I..I added a few new item in my store for black Friday! Happy little surprise! But I can't tell what they are , you have to go see what they are ! And wait to at least friday morning to see the new items !

Look at my Zazzle Shop:https://www.zazzle.com/store/cassiemisreadstore

If you don't see an Happy Thanksgiving post from me ,Happy Thanksgiving! I will cooking in the kitchen most likely all day long because some how one important meal takes all day but a normal meal takes one hour versus what feels like twenty- fours hours to eat it a plate of food in thirty minutes. How, I don't even understand anymore but at least the food is worth the wait .

From my family to yours , I hope the day is beautiful one and all your friends and family around and above all that the feast is perfect!

Always,

Misread.

See you sooner than later!

Dear Marie : Life without your presence

Disclaimer: This took me a few days to write and let it sit for awhile in my own world. And debated if I should share this and let people into another chapter of my personal life. Dear Marie is about my Nene, my bestfriend and I miss her every second of everyday and I wish my phone would ring and she would be on the other end of that call. If this moves you to tears, I am sorry in advance and know that's never my intent to bring anyone to tears.

In the last few weeks, I have been restless and feeling out of placed in world. I find myself staring into my white ceiling of space till two am just thinking away about life in general, the little things to the big things in life. My television on with one of favorite drama shows fading in the background and yet I wasn't there even watching it. I spent those restless night writing away every I want to say down on paper or keying away and yet nothing seem tangible to put down in physically. They seemed trapped in my own mind and my heart like permanent tattoos of unsaid moments.

And in this moment currently the exact words still escape me. Please forgive me if this all seems backwards and I might repeat myself. Where to start is an understatement of the century.

Today is the day after anniversary of my Nene's passing. And it still feels like it happened yesterday not a year ago in reality. Walking into the same church ,I sat next to her for so many weddings is the moment that feels unbearable for her one year year anniversary . Picturing her next to be on my left, dressed up nicely, her hair done and hearing about her shoes already make her feet sore then handing me her purple iPad with these words, " You make video put on bookface". Yes, I did; if you were wondering if I recorded the video for her. Yes, I was the one in the back left pew recording a wedding as subtle as one could after the loud beep of the recording button being pushed.

In a reality standing in the same church that everyone I know has gotten married in, baptized in; took me back to another time, another life. In the crowed Armenian church of 2021, the smell of burning candles behind me floating in the air above; I closed my eyes and floated away to a time when I was a little girl. I don't remember why were at the church for in the first place but I remember, her being in a simple black dress wearing pearls on her neck and I was in a white and yellow outfit possibly a poke dot style but don't quote me on the style part. I remember her teaching me how to light the candle in my little hand properly and taught me the proper way make the Sign of the Cross in Armenian. Feeling of her right hand on my hand to show me facing the lighten candles, I felt that same moment all over again the same church Twenty- Seven years later on white oak over mine. The warmth of her soft hand touching my little hand then and when I placed the candle for her without her to hand guide me now. The smell of her perfume she used to wear everyday ,I caught a whiff of it over the smell candles opening my eyes as I let my prayer go unspeakable moment that I kept to myself.

Watching the room of full of families that I know and those I don't around that crowed church, listening to priest and choir singing; I was reliving moments from all those years ago and wishing she was here in the same pew where we sat together a few years ago. Looking at that pew from where I stood, I wish she could see the little babies that were just born in the family, I know that would make her smile and at the same time question me why I haven't given her a great -grandchild. Then getting into the same , "Nene lecture" of marriage and children came to my head, " You need one husband and make babies. You are my daughter, you need kid not puppies. But No Money ,No Hunny." And that's the short version and straight to her point. Then my response back , "Took much work, I haven't found one, no one wants me." Then her last response would be , "No worry, I will find one for you and one for me". Standing in that church with a mask on , I am smiling there just listening to her and trying not to cry.

When it came to reading of the names of those her passed on, hearing her name didn't seem real to hear and yet I still think she would just appear from the crowd and say, "No". After her name was spoken then the names of kin came next. When I heard my own name spoken by the priest in a English accent ,he said Casey not Cassie. Making eye contact with some family members all I could do is try not to laugh out loud in such silence because I am thinking about another memory that came to mind. I was thinking about the times when she would write in my birthday cards, Christmas cards each year, sometimes it was to Casey not me exactly but close. Looking back at those times, I never correct her on that either it's what made her special. And maybe that was her funny sign to me without anyone noticing why it was funny to me at least.

Visiting her that day after church, I could feel her presence but not actually touching her with the light breeze flowing. Placing the flowers for her and my Dede seemed to be a dream still not reality. But our family circle around them felt too real for it to be a dream. Standing there holding hands, I can hear voice around me, remembering all the conversation we had together. The voicemails she left on my phone that I still have. The smell of the incense floating in the wind, all of us with our head down saying our thoughts to both of them after prayer. Leaving never seems real, never seems right either as time feels thin each time. As much time I spent with her, with them and the memories I have on my heart, in photographs still feel as if it wasn't enough time either.

Went to a brunch with family around felt like she was the missing piece even if it was for her. Sitting with family I haven't seen in while, just being with them felt like all those all parties, family gatherings with her and I felt like I was waiting for my Nene to seat next to me holding my hand.

Just being in the moment with aunties and uncles talking about her was the most precious thing. Taking about the few things I figured out her recipes without any of her recipes on hand like she has said all my life, "You taste and you know to put more or no more". Finding out Mujadarah is the hardest one to get down, After our second attempt we figure it out. One of the most beautiful thing was hear Nora talking about her, saying how they would have coffee all the time together each week. And growing up I can remember all the wiser ladies and men would gather together and have a mid afternoon coffee each week. When I heard those words I remembered those exact words being spoken by my Nene which I found beautiful.

Looking around the group that joined I see them not as who have aged to but who they all were to another lifetime ago. I can picture my Nene asking someone to help her get something from her car. Knowing full well she was suppose to bring one thing to the party and the back seat was full of platters as if she was cooking for hundreds of people or an army, Cheese borrege, Sarma, Dolma and cookies in-between the other trays. Then head to the kitchen with the platters where all the other ladies are making food for a party. I can see cousins running around playing with each other and now they are adults now. I see my grandfather with his nephews each one of them having a small coffee ,talking and maybe having a cigarette as well after the meal. Also they all share a cheeky grin with each other, I was always wondered if they were up to something but then again they were always smiling. And the younger version of uncles with father around the older gentlemen to but joking around and playing basketball at the same time. Then the ladies would seat down for a minute or two and share a cup of coffee as well, chatting life while holding little ones well. That's what I see another life in another time and yet in the present time too. I can smile about those memories and the memories forming currently.

Dear Marie, I wish you were here right now, in the kitchen the smell of your cooking floating our house. I wish you could tell me how to make all the recipes all over again. I wish I could see you walking in those rose pink slippers in the kitchen. I wish you tell me that we need a vacation to Las Vegas and party the night away. I wish you can tell me that I need to give you great-grand kids. I wish you would call me to explain my father's bookface post of the day to you. I wish I could be watching Big fat Greek Wedding for the one hundredth of time cuddling in bed. I wish I could hear you and Dede's love story one more time. I wish you were braiding my wet curly hair one more time and hear that lullable that you would sing each grand child to sleep. I wish you would be at my wedding, seeing grandbabies and to every special moment in my life. I wish the most to hear the words, " I won't worry and no never."

So, " Nene Don't worry , Don't forget me. Love you."

The unexpected part of life is time. Time can be pulled from us any second and I think sometimes we don't even realize it's happening at the same time of our presence. And if the past year has taught us Time can't be slowed down, even if we tired to make it slow down ,we can't. That we should do everything we desire to in this life, spend time with all of those in our hearts. Let things go, Fix things physically, emotionally with everyone that means the most to them. And Say things you want to say with your heart and soul because one day those words can never be spoken to those who needs to hear them. Never let time get ahead of you.

Thank you for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it and I didn't bring anyone to tears. That wasn't my aim to but to share what's on my heart and a reminder that time can't be paused and make things count in life. And if you read my original post last year, I thank you. And if you haven't read it before, please do; I have it link down below. I think looking back at all of my other work as a whole I ever written in life her piece is one that can't be repeated by my hand or out written by anything else I write from now on, ( In my opinion at least ) and I put every fiber of my being into those words. I Just hope I did her justice as she showed love to everyone she knew or came by. And her presence is missed but I know she around in her own way.

My love always,

Little Cassie