- Cassie. Sarkisian
- Jul 11, 2020
- 6 min read
Here we are in July 2020 and we are on the July where we in the middle of summer Vibes!
Let me first say this month alone in the last ten days have been different for me ; Full of emotions, highs and lows. And I have been have reflections on my own beliefs, my thoughts and a reason for it all where we all in life. I have keeping myself away from my phone, the media outlets, talking less. I know those first few lines are hard to read and understand even for me. I spent the last ten days figuring out what to say, how to say it and when to post , when to share because the change in the air has me at a lost for words.I know has a writer is just write and it will make sense in the end. By that being said, I hope this makes as I continue to type words, sentences and maybe paragraphs even I don't know but I am sharing what's in my heart.
I am writing this six days after July fourth and the previous Paragraph I wrote last month and yet it still feel right to start this month's blog post like this.
I think this month the feeling of the world in a weird state, hit home for me at least and yet there was good things that happen during the last time I posted and some other sad things in between. I miss the hugs, the smiles and the many coffee dates I had in my calendar. I look back on this July fourth as a weird one without all the festivals through the weekend but more blessed that I had my Father around, my momma and my stepbrother in one place and we got the time to be together. Because previous fourths we would never together, cooking, laughing during those years. Some this year was quite special to me.
Also this month I lost another furry friend of mine, I used to babysit and take care of a sweet doggy next door to me. He was sixteen years old and I knew him for eleven years of his life! He was a sweet boy and few times he went on his walk bouts from his home, he would always come to my front door. His name was Scooter, I called him Scoot. He was my Favorite model, He knew how to work the runway in his own way.
A very special person to me and in my community,passed away suddenly. Her name was Jennifer, she was loved my many and she touched many. I only knew her for a short time but it felt like I knew her forever. I knew her through the Rotary club and she was friends with both of my neighbors as well.She was a strong woman and always had a giving heart. She had a smile that you knew it came from her heart because her eyes would light up as well.She little spot outdoor venue spot in the heart of town where people would get married, have birthdays at with the most beautiful Lavender garden. I was blessed for the amount of time I knew her and witnessing all her kindness to others. Our Community has been hit hard in recent months with losing people suddenly and unexpected. To suicides that should have never happened and families hurting. And losing a friend my age with a full life ahead of her being stabbed in her car and she took off to the hospital and while getting there someone ran a red light that killed her. Her name was Angelina she was beautiful and she was kind to me and everyone around her. She would be missed dearly by everyone who knew her.
Life is an unpredictable sometimes and sometimes it challenges us during the worst of times and yet during the best of times to. Looking at the whole of the world right now during through every angle. I think sometimes is life real right now or fantasy. I know one day, we will get back to normalcy, we will understand each other better and we will learn the lessons we need to know through this time period of history.
I have my own ups and downs in the last six months that I can't believe where I am right now with it all. I wasn't feeling myself since my birthday of this year, I was told my body is fighting something and yet there was no reasoning behind it all just a guessing game. Each day wasn't the greatest, there were lost of sleepless nights and tears. Breathing was hard sometimes, I had to stop working out , I lost ten pounds within weeks, I couldn't eat food that I would normally eat. I went to many doctors, did many tests and scans. And let me tell you I had so much gel on me that I think I could make another me with it all combined. Fyi when they say it will wash off easily don't take their word for it I had gel in my hair (three washes later , by the way). I few reactions to medications that made me feel even worse than I was feeling already. I had a few panic attacks during a few scans that I had to be confined like an the MRI but that was actually the easier one and the during the EEG; which was the worst for me.
Conclusion to this all, I have lumps in my breasts that are hormonal related that might not ever go away and yet they are painful. They found tiny cysts in my throat and one my thyroid gland but nothing is life threatening. The popping in my ears and my sinus acting up because I have an allergy syndrome thing that might or might not with me forever, I have to wait it out. My first time in my life experiencing allergies. My organs look good, my heart is in good shape. They found a tiny tiny little cyst on my pineal gland in my head which is very common in woman and very very very tiny like lots of....
I can say from six months go to till today , I actually feel better slowly, being more active again. In all of all I am happy about it and I am getting close to getting closer to feeling normal. To all my friends thinking I was being a more of a hermit than normal that's why before the world was shut down. And I am blessed to have the family I got that made me keep pushing through it and help me to the many lovely doctors appointments even if they had it seat in the parking lot of hours. I love you.
There were some good things that happened, I had the chance to collaborate with a company the last few months. The company name is Neveo, If you follow me on instagram; you will see the collaborations through my story.I love this company and the app was so easy to use. I love there concept of helping generations of families connect without social media. Just by uploading pictures in the app each month and simply adding a caption. And they take care of the layout and send it the person that journal is for. I am smiling about talking to them because right now in life connection is important. If you would like to try them out for a few months , I highly recommend you do! I got a code for you "FAMILY" for three months for half off! Think about it something tangible to give to someone you love.
I will working on some edits that I have been meaning to finish and open the store on here that I put on hold since everything that happened. And I have writing a different style of writing than I used to , something fresh and I have been releasing a few pieces on another platform to see if anyone loves it anonymously before I share it here. I have been thinking about a few pieces that I have been circling around in my head the last few weeks. You never know a new written piece might just pop up here, subscribe if you haven't yet to get the lastest first. I feel more ready than ever to be the creative as I was months ago. So prepared once everything is ready, all my social feeds will be full.
I want to leave you on this note. Take a pause on life, ignore what chaos is around you right now. Close your eyes, breath in for a moment and take a breath out. Look at what's in front of you and where you want to. Who you want to me and if you need to make a change in your life. Make something right about your past, do it. You are loved, you wanted , you have gift even if you haven't discovered it yet. Make the most of the next months leading to 2021, spend the time with love ones, spend time working on you. And most of all things will work out , things will be normal; I am sure of it. Believe in it all and see what happens next.
That's my catch up.
With love always,
Misread
