top of page
Search

Happy April Fools and Happy Spring Season



Happy Spring season and Happy april fools as well.

I didn't realize today April fools for the first time so I guess I can't pull any pranks this year; maybe next year if I remember. In other news Happy Spring season! At least we can all enjoy the views then being extremely busy with our lives like we are used to. We can enjoy the views from our windows,if you leave the mountains; you will see the wildflowers bloom before anyone else. If you live by the sea you are lucky to , you will see the change of different species of sea creatures come in and go by the change of the season.

I know we are all separated from each other, our loved ones and friends for the time being. But that means when we get to be in close contact with them after all of this and we won't take it for granted ever again. For everything we were took advantage of , we won't do that again. From Stock shelves in store and eating out with family on a daily basis. We have to be grateful for what we have presently like being able to have what we have in life, those who are frontlines of all of this; risking their lives to help us.

I recommend we take the time out each day to check in with loved ones, friends and take shot, reach out to those you don't talk to as well. Take the time to make amends, make new plans with each other for the future. People will shock you , trust me I had witness it myself. Bring positivity to our daily lives then feeling trapped in our homes. Be creative,work on your health, connect with the present moment. Take a moment and think what you could do with the time you have right now to change the reality for the better.

Remember spring is about blooming, new and clarity,healing to! And I hope this spring it brings us more value to our lives then any other season has brought before us. I hope you are all safe,healthy and happy.

All my love,

Misread

 

She made the First move.. He made the last


Prolong: Honestly, I didn’t want to finish this story or publish it but it has been on my heart to finish it. I had it finished in my head but the words just wouldn’t come on the paper the way I wanted from my heart. And this love story is about being at the distance with someone and trying to build with someone while making mistakes that can’t be taken back. This is where it all lead to, she did make the first move and he made the last move. I originally wrote a section of this story two years ago and it was titled “You made the last move “. I couldn’t finish it then and it was a struggle to find the words on paper for it all to make sense, taking weeks to think and rewrite it out and finally letting it been seen by the world is another story all together.

They met two years ago, she made the first move and they started admiring of each other work then becoming quick friends but feeling changed during that first year for her in their relationship. She made the first move April 6th, 2018 towards him impulsively and unexpectedly and she was glad she did since that moment. He stayed through the good times, the bad times but he left once before, he disappeared for two weeks. He knew then she would have jumped on a first flight to see him back then. This time around, she made him leave forever after her birthday and with her last words, " I have been taking to another". She confessed everything to him because she said she would always be honest with him. Right or wrong of her choices, she made them, she spoke her truth. She knew if she didn’t tell him right then and there, he will find out anyway from her own mouth later, she rather tell him while she’s hurting already then to relive it all over again. She gave him the option to leave, no questions asked since everything else in her life is destroyed already and he left that moment, out the door. She knew he will never return even if she didn’t make her mistake. And two months later she regrets it all but it had to happen then in the future. Days later, she’s sitting in the Porsche dealership waiting on her car to be finished being serviced for hours and they finally call her name finally. She walks over and looks over the paperwork and the charges, she notices his name appearing as the mechanic. She couldn’t believe the odds and the coincidences of his name showing up, taking her back for a moment; she signs her name underneath his. Walking out to the parking lot that day, she decided to check her messages and saw nothing but a song called, “What could’ve been” by Gone West playing on the stereo at the same moment.

On this Leap year afternoon, she sat and reminisce about their past and happy moments in her days after he left Jan 14th, 2020. She pulled out the note, she wrote when he left the first-time dated August 2018. As she read the written page allowed in her empty studio, she ran her fingertips over the title over a few times, "You made the last move". Closing her eyes, she titles her back for a brief moment and let it all sink of her repeated reality. Thinking of the first time he called her, made her heart jump and skipped a beat or two. she was nervous as a cat but he would never know that. When she saw he was calling while she was working at her office, butterflies instantly in her stomach and she didn’t know quite know what to say at first but letting him to take the lead. She remembers saying, “It’s about time you called”. And he replied, “You know I figured it was about time we talked on the phone since we have been texting a for a long time and I wanted to hear your voice”. She was impressed but he would never know that and she always wondered why he took so long to dial her number when it has been his hands for year, his best mate must have convinced him to finally hit the call button. She remembered smiling ear to ear that day and calling her sisters right after that phone call end but he would never know that either. As she’s daydreams away a little longer, she remembers seeing him in his red plaid shirt for the first time and thinking, “He’s an amazing talented man”.

Before this continues just know she’s done with it all, the game, the idea; everything. She misses him every day and yet she knows everything had to happen for a reason. She loved him since the day she said, “Hello handsome”. Took her months to stop crying through dawn each night and accepting it all and now she’s slowly removing him from her reality, her memories of him from her phone. She knew, the second she typed the last message to him before she hit sent, he was gone. He’s done and gone just like she predicted he would after he asked, “What else is going on for you to be more upset?” Someone that she thought was a good friend to her and treated her kindly was the type of person that wanted to break her heart and teach her a lesson that she needed to learn. She never blamed him because she would have done same when he left that moment, when she confessed what she did and what she’s going through.


She remembered the day; she wrote those first two paragraphs with the fly of her blue pen and now knowing why she could never finish that story as she tries to finish it now in the exact place where it all started 1,095 days ago and 5,271 miles apart with the same page in her hands. Wondering if she even should continue it as she watches a young couple meeting for the first time at the place, where she said she would want to meet him first across from her studio. The universe tells her not to finish it but it needs a proper ending to it; she thinks with a background to it than just a reason for them meeting and just ending. Or maybe she never wants them to end, even on paper because then it comes tangible and real in her own hands.

She knows, she broke his heart for the second time in her life and the idea of her in a single moment. She’s never broken a heart before. She’s always been the one getting her heart broken and what she did broke her into a million pieces. Days before he finally admitted he wanted something more, a chance to meet, a chance to touch, a chance to see each other within breathable distance. He asked her to meet in person on her next trip out of the city where she would be in the exact place few months later. She remembered being happy reading that messaging blinking across her screen unexpectedly on her birthday. All she ever wanted from, the start and she threw it all away with her confession a week later. She didn’t want their beginning to start knowing she betrayed him in the end. She wouldn’t be able to look at him in the eye knowing that and he deserved better than what she gave him in return. Because she kept asking for more in the past and he always said, “We are at distance and in two different places”. She decided too not to hold him to that dream of them as much as she had from there on. She enjoyed his company, his character, his banter each day and his good morning notes. Every day she expected him to say, he met someone else when things kept being the same between them; she never expected herself to be that person in a million years but she was. She knows who she is and during that time frame she walked away from her own logic and messed everything up for herself but she starts putting herself together slowly each day, alone. Working herself into every project she could to not think until she physically too tired to sleep.

A week later she leaves one last message to him, knowing he will never read it and never respond anyway. She knew she was going back on her word of talking to him again but his last word of “I don’t know what to say” wouldn’t leave her heart on her quiet days, no matter how much she tried to block those words out. On her trip to another city for the most important business meeting of the year, she allows herself to think about it in the LA traffic that lasted an hour longer than expected. She starts to type every single thought of him, she ever had and how sorry she is and she hopes he finds a great woman that unconditionally loves him with every fiber of her being. “I regret everything and I can’t believe I did this to you and I see who I am now and how you see through your eyes. Hope you find a woman that loves you and never hurts you like I did, you deserve an unconditional type of love and you are amazing man. And you create beautiful moments for people that leave people speechless”. Sitting in that back seat of a ford escape, she had a few tears, explaining her life falling part to a complete stranger and she said, “ I am going to act perfectly okay because I built my own bed and I have to lay in what I have done and that’s what I deserve.” Four days later she went to delete it and move on forever but he read it. She didn’t think she could move from her chair that moment even if there was earthquake around her studio and she said out loud, “He saw my words” tears slipped from her eyes that moment without her realizing she was in tears. It took her another day later to erase that paragraph because she said exactly what she wanted to say and there was no point letting it sit there for another moment torturing herself thinking he would response or question herself on why she said something in the first place.

Looking back at the two young lovers across the street and reminisced about their discussion of their first potential meeting “Date”. Right before she starts to remove the few photos, she kept of him, three weeks later, she started to stare into those chestnut colored eyes. She said in a wispier, “You said once you will never leave and you also never said if you ever wanted me in the first place. You would say gorgeous you worry too much and you always finding problems “. Looking at his photo for a little longer, she knows he probably has someone new else by now or had someone in-between. She has to accepted it all and there is a reason behind it all.



Coming back to her reality she smiles with her eyes and heart and looks back at that soprano mug photo and looked beyond the mug to his eyes. She sent their story out to the world without giving it another look over and she removed what’s left of him from her phone. And whispered, “We are two strangers again and I hope you are truly happy and get everything you desire in this life. And if you talk to me again or you don’t it was nice to know you” Folding the white lined paper back up and slides it back into the red and white striped enveloped and puts the envelope back into her black leather writer's bag. She gathers the rest of her belongings and heads over to the coffee shop across the windy street. And purchases two brownies and their next drinks on her, for that sweet couple forming in the corner booth as she wished that was her future. She heads out the door to the train station across the street with her one-way ticket to her next adventure. She knows love does exist; people make things work together does exist. And she knows, she won’t go seeking out for love in her phone anymore. One day love will find her and that love won’t be easy but it will be the right amount of perfect.



Epilogue: You made the last move – Original note

The Original note she wrote during the time he left the first time and she could never finish it then. He told her once he wanted to see it and she should finish it someday. She told him, “It hurt too much to finish it and I know why because it was about you”.

I risked my heart for you, thinking of when I shouldn’t have gotten attached to you; barley even knowing you. Months of getting to know you and one day you were gone. Disappeared without warning I cried over you, when I shouldn’t of; but it was bound to happen in my mind, there’s no way you could enjoy my company any longer. Things moved fast unexpectedly between us and I was falling for you without knowing it from the very beginning. You knew everything about my past and I still know little about you besides your family and that cutie that I grew to love. Messaging you a few days later to see if you were doing okay at least. And I didn’t hear a sound from you. In the beginning of your silence made me think more about my own thoughts of you. All I could was stare into my phone and wonder about you and cry too many tears than I would like to admit to anyone including myself. But I couldn’t bring myself to message you again, I must have been ghosted. I felt safe with you and that’s hard to even bring myself to admit that from all the other ones, they never made me feel safe as you did.

In quiet days, the tears became less but my mind still wondered during my work hours, “What I was to you?” in your mind. Getting lost in my wandering mind can lead to endless unanswered questions. “He is okay? Did I matter just a little bit? Or did I get used for the hundred time? Did I miss the signs, he gave?”

I miss those little messages blinking on my phone during a meeting would brighten my day without reading it. The day there was silence from you was the day I wanted more and move into a different direction with you. I had to let that go and I know that is the right move in my head. Two weeks go by then you reappeared, I didn’t know what to think or what to do believe or how to feel about either. Hearing you were fine was just enough for me. Come to find out in the end, you had a phone issue for two weeks straight.

You know where am I, that's where I will be and stay. And I will always wonder if you ever told anyone about me and if all of us were suppose never really begin. I know from the beginning where I stood about you and I know the ending it all is all on me, not on you. You know where to find me, even with a parachute, checkmate.


Author Note : I hope you enjoyed this piece and I can't wait to hear your feedback.

The next piece is called , "If I was gone today " and will be coming out soon

Love, misread

 

A year of 2020 and a Vision to complete

Happy New Year ! Welcome to your fresh start!





I hope you stayed up late through the last night of 2019 to Dawn Of the new Decade to embrace this transformation from 2019 to 2020 and feel the change in the air with family and friends. Before you do anything on this fresh start of this new year close your eyes for a moment and take a few breaths in and out ; think about what you want out of this moment and where you want to be in this year leading to the following year then open your eyes and write it down.

2019 was a full of Breakups, losses and unexpected greatness all at the same time.

For 2020 there is a vision to complete that was at my fingertips in 2019. See what I did there...

If you think, I am kidding about this , I am not. I am determined to make 2020 the year that passes any other year of my lifetime. And the truth of the matter is that I have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

And I hope this year is THIS year is for you and your families too. I want to see the world and the people around me to be glowing with happiness and success we all deserve that and to happen in 2020. If that's finding your soulmate or having everything lininging up at the right time. Make a goal plan to complete Your Vision of dreams into your Reality. Make an outline for yourself on your phone with check in calendar dates and deadlines. Make a vision board and put it your closet, on your desk , some place where you are going to see your wishes and dreams every single day, after you wake up or when you are about to walk out the door.

I have a plan of goals in my head that I want to complete even if the first attempts don't work , I am going showing up each time until I get to Z. There were things last year, that I haven't completed in personal and work achievements. This year however my aim is to complete them and then some. And yes I have them write down and they will be in my phone as well as a reminder.

I recommend looking up a few motivational quotes to add to your vision that way on your hardests days that will help you stay in the right state of mind. This year, I will be turning Twenty- Six and I have a feeling that Twenty-Six will be a magical year for me.

Now everyone knows I choose a word or a short phase for the new year, it is Unconditional Life. I like to think that's a powerful statement. Unconditional life to me is that unconditional Love to life, when when it's harsh,draining, beautiful and rich. Going through this year unconditionally , opens the doors and it brings in positivity through every situation and relationship in my eyes. Those two words together, bring in absolute surrender to everything that tries to block something or someone. It will all happened they way it should in the end and chase what you want out this life because it's Yours. Your Dreams, your wishes make your reality Happen. Take it all on, the problems, the overcoming of it because being unconditional also means don't stand in your own way either.

Seek the moments you envisioned, become the person you always wanted to be and be open to all you want achieve, don't back down from your truest potential of your own greatness.

You just might impress yourself with your own ability of strength and courage to hit your dreams.

2020 is about your Focus, Faith , Trust and living up to your potential.


Step into the new and grant your own wishes and there will always be someone to catch you, Remember that. The journey awaits for all of us and where it all it leads , we don't know always where it will go but I can promise it will surprise you and teach you. By that being said, Let's kick of this year to be the one that beats them all unexpectedly and one for the story books. Live this year wildly, unconditionally focused.


With Love always ,

Misread


P.S I hoped you have enough coffee to get you through the hangover. And thank you for a reading this little three minute post !

 

Public Service Announcement
I'm who I am 
​
​
​
​

  • misread
  • Facebook
bottom of page