- Cassie. Sarkisian
- Jan 16, 2021
- 8 min read
Coming Back to Life
Happy new year, everyone! I hope your last night of 2020 to this morning was peaceful and relaxing. I know the end of the year is usually the loudest and buzziest night with parties around the world and the last night of 2020 wasn't the same as the others but this night was more of a break mentally for all of us and looking forward to 2021 with peace in mind and the possibility of a somewhat do over from the year prior.
Anyway we are in 2021 now, January first, the blank page of our 2021 novel. I hope it's all we wished for and then some. My wish for you all is to fall in love with life all over again minus how the world is currently.
Mini disclaimer: I am currently editing this and finish writing this up on Jan 16th, 2021 , so please excuse the lateness of this ( Is lateness a real word ?) P.s.... It is a real word, I looked it up!
The last few days I have been thinking about who I was on this exact day, last year . That day I couldn't have imagined the year to be what it was, looking back on those days three hundred and sixty-five days ago.
I was in love completely and in love with life it's self, the happiest I have been in a long time. But as life would have it unexpected things turn out instead that year. Feeling horrible most days , many nights full of tears than most people know and that's the honest truth. Days with doctor appointments and the most unexpected moments in history the world shut down and what seems to an never ending pandemic and we still don't know if the pandemic would end yet. Side note , I quit watching news lately , I only watch the good things that no one covers , we need more of the good in this world to be shared. I hope in 2021 that the particular vaccine will help more and we don't see a different type of the virus comes around. Well turns out I was wrong about different types of the current virus coming out... Losing my Nene this year was the most unexpected reality in my family, in my world . I wish we would go back in time and not lose a single person like her in the world , the way we all did. No one deserved to be sick like this and leave this world without their love ones next to them , it's just how I feel about it. Losing her was and is the void of something missing in my heart, in this world and I am sure most people can relate to that. I can easy say that 2020 changed everything from our ways of mundane life, our introspective about things and made our feels of love change as well. That's just my own personal opinion looking back on things in my own life.
Another thing I wanted to express to you all since October 2020 that I haven't expressed publicly I have been toying with the idea , going back and forth about erasing A Person misread completely. Some thought I was kidding, some said I should wait until I fully grieve and some people that never wanted me to even start this journey years ago ,have said ," Why would you even do that? ". And honestly right now , just typing this in here makes my eyes glossy and I guess I hoping someone would understand why I am adding this in. I haven't written any pieces in months, I haven't made any improvements on my blog platform nor have I really picked my camera with the same love for it as I once did. When did start to share something , to write I felt like why I am even doing this? And I get interrupted completely where I just don't even try anymore because No one will understand how I feel about it. I have talked to my friends, work friends, and family members about this in great lengths through texts, phone calls. It's always been more than numbers to me , more than likes, more than comments as well. My work has always been about connection, letting people in, sharing stories that people can relate to when they can't share their own story out loud but using my words to be their voice. An escape from everything in the world from five minutes to fifteen minutes as always been my goal. ( And fyi you would notice a few improvements did happen lately, I have been working on a new layout and more changes coming still )
To be Honest the passion completely left when my heart left is the only way I can explain it in a few words. My purpose that I felt was always my path in life was closed off to me, I could try to write but it was either a sad concept that had no happy ending in site, ( Which if you know my style of writing that's a rare from me to end on a sad note) or I was left staring a blank page physically on a paper which to those who are writers know what I am talking about emotionally. I couldn't even come up with a title even. And before I go any further , Thank you to everyone reading the post about me Nene, to those who shared it. And reaching so many hearts around this world and internationally as well . After all the years on this blog page , that piece has been my most view and the piece that couldn't rewrite that about her if I could minus all the errors in that piece. She always had the touch of touching hearts so every pair of eyes ,reading that one piece , made me full of love when I was hurting. Thank You! Originally I thought I could leave this all behind because of that piece because you all showed up for her and that was enough for me to walk away.
In conclusion instead of erasing A person Misread completely which that's what I was going to do New years day with this Post in fact in the draft before this. On my birthday and officially January 16th,2021; I decided to keep going, something in my heart is telling me , "There's more to do , to share . This journey isn't over, yet ". So I will keep A person misread for bit longer before I let this all go. Friends, family , you can all breathe and thank you for keeping my secret to yourself and the calls and texts convincing me to not stop and helping me open back my own heart again. I need those words , those reminders and the love as well.
Moving on to my usual pick of theme wish for this year, let's all not get to sappy into this beginning year of our book. Someone aske me what's my theme, resolution/ wish, word for 2021 this morning, the day of New Years Day . And honestly I usually have one a month before Christmas even happens. And a reason why this new year post is a bit late because I am still thinking about I want to put out in the world about it.
As I am staring at this for this Year's New year wish is for the world to heal, to have some what normalcy around the world with peace in mind. And Good things to happen to everyone, the unexpected miracles to happen and yes I still believe through all we have been through that miracles will happen. Angels are always watching over us and around us , so miracles do exists.
For my Resolution this year is to be have the success that I always wanted for my career that I started a long time ago, for my heath to be where it was and improve it even more, to help lift others in their success as well. I think we all deserve success right now, in every avenue, every aspect in our lives. To be remined that we deserve success even if it's not the biggest step in our lives but the small steps lead up to the biggest wins. I think we lost that last year and I hope by keeping that my resolution through out this year, it helps motivation you all as well. And a small secret of mine I always had a fear of success and I couldn't tell you why but that is all about to change.
My theme of 2021 is Heal ,being myself without holding myself back like I used to in all aspects in my life. To open my heart , let those in that need to be let in. To be the woman I was raised to be, the woman who fights, whom loves even harder. To the woman who smiles , who is sassy most days and laughs on the kitchen floor then hide herself from the world.
And lastly my word for this year is Freedom. Now if you are thinking why Freedom out of all things. Because when you close your heart, your mind and your soul off like I did, you forget what freedom feels like to just be yourself again. And if you been there before , you understand and if you are there now, there's love, light and blessings coming your way when you open back up. I feel it's a good word to pick for this timeframe because it feels like we are still trapped somewhat emotionally ,physically from the past year to right now in this present moment. We forgot how it feels to be free and peaceful in our hearts, minds and to go where we want, be with loves ones without a concern in mind. We all need to comeback to life after everything , we are here together. I hope you find your own freedom , whatever that means for you.
In closing I hope this post was worth the wait and it makes sense in the end , I spent hours to just make these eight minutes make sense. At least I didn't let this blogpost stay unfinished to long .. Just sixteen days past my deadline , hey it's a start to coming back to who I am. I hope your start to your new year is a beautiful one , you are happy , laughing and making things happen. And doing what you love at the end of each day, its not just work but your love for that work , that makes you challenged ,satisfied in your soul.
Let's go into this year heads up , goals in mind and make the plans we wanted to last year originally it will that much sweeter , to have coffee meetings in a coffee house, birthdays with family and friends without being six feet apart , without masks. Being able to travel without worrying about everything underneath the sun. Having the hugs we missed and kisses from love ones across lands, seas. Don't forget if you love someone right now and you haven't told them how you feel, tell them;
If you reached the ending of this post , Thank you for being here and I will be adding my birthday post like I do every year and I will add the link down below when I am done.
Love always,
Misread
